Since it is a long day and we've got a new kitchen manager, we were bound to run out of something.  About the last three hours of my shift consisted of going by tables to apologize for being out of whatever item they wanted, and offering to buy them another entree on the house.  Most normal people would be pleased with this.  I would.  Wouldn't you?  A free meal just because the dish you wanted was unavailable?  Seems like a dream!

Except for this one table.

As I arrive to let the lady know we are all out of her entree, I'm nearly bowled over by her application of sparkly midnight blue eyeshadow (it was headed north towards the temples, people!) 

"Hello, Sir, Ma'am.  I just came by to apologize for our mistake with your entree.  We are currently out of stock and would like to offer you another entree, on the house,"  I said.

"Well.  No.  I just want what I ordered," she replied, pouting like a two-year-old.

Doing my best to be sympathetic, I said, "I understand and, again, I do apologize.  Can I give you a moment to decide on another entree?"

"NO.  I. want. what. I. ordered."

Ok, at this point, normal people would have laughed or gotten upset and thought "Fuck it!"  As I'm thinking all this and suppressing hysteria, I finally let the couple know that if they need anything else or would like a dessert, let the server know.

As the server goes to pre-buss, the woman has the nerve to ask the server where her entree is.  HUH?  Evidently, she was sending us brain waves to order another entree, and neither the server nor myself managed to be a proper receiver for her wacky signals.  She finally orders another entree with the server and I go by to make sure everything is cooked properly.

Against my better judgment, I went by to check on the couple again.  Before I could even ask how the entree was, her husband lost his shit. 

"HOW could you even THINK she wouldn't want another entree?" he screamed.

Because she said "No" twice you jerk, I thought.  Is there another meaning of the word "No" that I'm aware of?  I just put on my best eat shit smile and apologized for the misunderstanding.  As I walked away I couldn't help but smile.  Later, the server let me know they were going on and on about how we can never get anything right and how they hope to never come back.  Sadly, it is disappointing to lose business, but sometimes it isn't even worth it to try to make it right.

They were back in the restaurant six days later with a coupon.